What to Expect in a Menopause Ceremony

If you’re approaching or moving through menopause, you might have felt a distinct lack of ritual around this milestone. Unlike weddings, birthdays, and retirements, our culture doesn’t have a rite of passage when it comes to this transitional time.

Maybe you’re drawn to the idea of a ceremonial container to mark the threshold of menopause, but you don’t have a clear picture of what it involves. There’s still a social taboo around menopause and aging in general, and so many of us miss out on the opportunity to embrace the experience in a way that feels meaningful.

I've written separately about why menopause deserves a ceremony at all. This is the practical companion to that piece. Here's what you can expect from a typical menopause ceremony that I facilitate. While every ceremony is different, there are some common elements that most women find reassuring to know beforehand.

It starts with a conversation

Before anything can be planned, we have a conversation about your menopause journey and what it’s been like for you so far.

Maybe you’re still in perimenopause and want to get ahead of a change you can feel coming. Or maybe you reached menopause some time ago and have carried a sense that something significant passed without anyone acknowledging it.

Wherever you are with it, this first conversation is where I listen for what matters most to you, the parts you're relieved to set down and the parts you didn't expect to grieve.

We meet virtually for an hour, and there's no form to fill in. What you tell me about your own unique experience becomes the foundation for everything that follows.

Your personalized menopause ceremony

This is where the ceremony becomes uniquely yours. A template designed for the masses can't offer the same meaning as something designed specifically for you. A PDF guide won’t take into account the relationship you’ve had with your body over the years, or how you might have been impacted by your mother’s menopause, or the relationships you’ve had with the other women in your life. It won’t lean into your lineage, or your legacy.

The ceremony I design is crafted with care from what you share with me, shaped to your situation down to the language we use and the pace we move at.

What happens during a menopause ceremony

The ceremony usually lasts around an hour. No two are exactly the same, but there’s a common thread that tends to flow through each one.

The opening of the ceremony sets the tone. We can begin with a few spoken words or some music. The key is that we create an atmosphere that registers the meaning and magnitude of the moment.

From there we move into the heart of the ceremony. This is your opportunity to acknowledge what's ending and say, in your own words, who you're becoming. One woman may choose to release the expectation that she always has to put everyone else's needs first. Another may choose to honor the wisdom she has gained through decades of caregiving, work, or motherhood.

For some women this part can be solemn and reflective. For others there's warmth, and even laughter, running through it. Because we'll have talked beforehand about what feels right for you, nothing catches you off guard.

The ceremony closes with you claiming what you want to take with you into the next chapter. Rather than feel as though menopause is something outside of your control, this is a way for you to have agency as you assign value and prioritize what you want to focus on. The specificity of this is especially useful after your ceremony has ended as it becomes an anchor you can return to.

In person or over Zoom

You can have your ceremony with me in person, or we can come together over Zoom. Both are equally impactful.

When we meet in person, I come to you, to your home or to a suitable spot that you’ve chosen. If you'd like the people closest to you to be present, they become part of the ceremony, either as participants or witnesses.

Over Zoom, we meet privately in your own space, which works beautifully for women who'd rather not host or travel, and for those who want the intimacy of moving through this on their own. Your virtual ceremony is recorded, so it stays with you to revisit. And in both cases, you receive a personalized audio reflection afterward, something to come back to whenever you need to remember what you chose for yourself.

What’s required of you

You don't need any particular faith or background for a ceremony to be right for you. The women I work with come from all kinds of traditions, and some from none at all. A few are skeptical of anything that sounds like wellness. All of this is okay.

I’m adept at putting you at ease and meeting you where you are.

What a ceremony asks of you is a willingness to treat this passage as something of importance, and to speak some honest words aloud while another person bears witness to them. Authenticity is what makes ceremony memorable and significant.

And if your menopause arrived suddenly, this is still very much for you. When surgery or medical treatment changes the body within a matter of weeks, there's none of the slow unfolding of perimenopause that gives a woman time to prepare. It’s an abrupt and immediate change. Ceremony can meet that abruptness honestly, without pretending the change came gently. We create space for what is, not a perfect vision of what “should” be.

Where to start

If reading this stirs something within you, the way to begin is with a free Discovery Call. It's an easy conversation about where you find yourself now and whether a ceremony is the right way to honor this chapter of your life, with no obligation to book anything at all.

If you'd like to see how the in-person and virtual options work before we talk, you'll find more on the Customized Ceremonies page. Either way, our first conversation is where everything begins, because every ceremony I create starts with listening to you.