How The "Have It All" Era Still Runs Your Life

You probably know the voice. The one that shows up when you sit down for ten minutes: I should be doing something productive right now.

Or when you look in the mirror: I should look better than this at my age.

Or when you're trying to make a decision: What will people think if I choose this?

That voice didn't come from nowhere. If you grew up in the 80s, you absorbed a very specific message about what women should be: professionally successful, financially independent, physically fit, emotionally available, and always put-together.

Magazine covers showed women in power suits holding briefcases with perfectly styled hair. Self-help books promised systems for managing it all. The message was clear: you could have everything you wanted - if you just worked hard enough and stayed organized enough.

Any failure to achieve this balance? Well, that was on you.

What That Era Created

Fast forward to now. You're in your forties or fifties. Maybe you've built a career, or you've pivoted between several. Perhaps you've raised children, or poured yourself into creative work. Ultimately you’ve toed the line and played by the rules.

And yet.

There's this persistent feeling that something's missing. That despite doing everything "right," you're still not enough. That you should be further along, more successful, happier, more fulfilled.

One woman recently confided to me: "I can't remember the last time I did something without feeling like I should be doing something else instead. Even relaxation feels like another task."

Here's what nobody told us back then: that definition of success was designed to be impossible. The women in those magazine spreads had teams of people behind them. The work-life balance gurus conveniently left out the housekeepers and nannies. The alluring promise was a setup.

But we internalized it anyway. And decades later, we're still running on that same programming.

The Pressure Hasn't Let Up…

If anything, it's intensified.

You're managing more than ever. Aging parents who need you. A changing body that won't cooperate. Work commitments that keep demanding more. Your own health issues that can't be ignored anymore. Relationships that require your time and care. Or the absence of relationships you thought you'd have by now.

Technology has come on leaps and bounds in the last four decades. Now the world moves faster and as a result hustle-mode has only increased. Any hobby you enjoy gets reflected back as an opportunity to monetize. That poetry you love to write? Sell a book! That sketching that helps you switch off? Open an Etsy store! That portrait photography that brings you joy? Teach a course!

Meanwhile, you're supposed to be the most conscious consumer, the most ethical philanthropist, the most informed activist. Your phone tracks how well you're sleeping, eating, and moving. We have more gadgets and information at our disposal than ever before, but we're increasingly disconnected from our own intuition.

In the book Three Women, author Lisa Taddeo wrote: "We pretend to want things we don't want so nobody can see us not getting what we need."

That's never been more true.

What You Actually Need

Maybe you're tired of performing achievement. Maybe you'd like to make decisions based on what you want instead of what you think you should want. Maybe you're done proving anything to anyone.

Through my work creating personalized meditations for midlife women, I've learned something important: knowing where these "shoulds" come from doesn't make them stop.

"I should always be productive."

"I should never need help."

"I should have figured this out by now."

You can intellectually understand these messages aren't yours - and still hear them running on repeat every single day.

That's where daily support comes in.

What Daily Support Looks Like

Science shows our brains respond powerfully to personal details. Hearing your own name lights up attention centers in the brain, and we're more likely to remember things that relate directly to us.

That's why I created Elevations - personalized meditations designed around your life, your challenges, and your goals.

The personalization part is crucial because it’s what makes the difference between soaking up societal pressure (targeting everyone) and absorbing truths that are aligned with your core values (specific to you.)

Elevations start with a consultation where we talk about what you’re experiencing: what "should" shows up for you most often. The comparison that steals your contentment. What has you second-guessing yourself.

Then I’ll create a meditation designed to support the life you want - not someone else's version of what your life should look like. Your name will be woven throughout, along with affirmations built from what you've shared with me. It’s customized for what you’re navigating right now.

This isn't something you do once and forget about. It's a regular practice. One of my clients, Ann Marie, uses hers whenever she has "a wobble" about her work. Another client, Wendi, listens every morning before her day starts. That way she tunes into what's true for her, rather than what's expected from her.

What Changes for You

The 80s told you to have it all - and do it all. Your Elevation reminds you you're already enough.

It doesn't promise to make you more productive or give you more strategies to optimize yourself. It helps you recognize your worth rather than treat yourself as a constant improvement project.

With that support, the voice questioning whether you're doing enough gets quieter. The pressure to prove yourself loosens its grip. You start making decisions based on what matters to you instead of what you’ve been told you should want.

If this resonates, Elevations might fit what you need.