5 Ways Midlife Impacts Introverts Differently
Contrary to popular belief, being an introvert isn’t necessarily the same as being shy or socially awkward. Although many introverts feel very at ease in our own company, it’s also true that we can feel equally at home in group gatherings - if the conditions are in our favor.
We tend to think of introverts and extroverts as fixed personality types rather than individual preferences on a spectrum.
How we prefer to expend or restore our energy can offer us some insight as to where on the continuum of introversion and extroversion we typically find ourselves.
Introverts most often feel the need to recharge alone after social interactions, whereas extroverts usually feel more energized after being in a large group.
When it comes to midlife, there’s no evidence to suggest that either introverts or extroverts have a better or worse experience, but there are certain characteristics that introverts lean towards that mean we may need to meet our midlife needs differently.
1. Introverts often need additional time to process.
Introverts tend to feel more at ease when life isn’t moving at high speed. We prefer to have time to take stock of any given situation and then respond from a space of calm and steadiness.
The hormonal fluctuations we experience in midlife often feel anything but steady. Our bodies are likely to behave differently as we age, and this can leave us feeling anxious and uncertain, especially when things feel as though they’re shifting quickly.
If we don’t have structured time to help support us as we navigate this new territory, we can quickly start to feel as though everything is spiraling.
Tip: Working with a therapist and having a safe space held for us, along with dedicated time to process, can be invaluable as we move through midlife. We’re often experiencing many firsts simultaneously and it’s crucial that we have what we need to nourish and sustain ourselves.
2. Introverts tend to be more independent.
Because solitude is generally something introverts are very comfortable with, we also enjoy the independence that is a natural extension of spending time alone. As introverts, we’re wired to try and figure things out for ourselves. However, midlife can be a time when we really benefit from the additional support that comes from being in community. Sometimes our independence can increase our feelings of isolation if we feel as though we have nobody else to talk things through with or problem-solve together.
Tip: Consider joining a group that offers an opportunity to connect with others in midlife. Sharing our experiences can help us feel more supported and less isolated. It can be a virtual group or an in-person meet up, the main goal is to interact rather than withdraw.
3. Introverts are more likely to overthink things.
Introverts are typically very self-aware which can be an enviable strength. But with that increased awareness comes a tendency to overthink things.
Midlife can already be a time of overwhelm, particularly for those of us who are juggling multiple roles. We’re often managing full time jobs, as well as acting as caregivers for children and/or parents. Overthinking can add to our existing stress and can easily become an exhausting habit.
Tip: Journaling can be a really effective way of reducing stress and anxiety. The very act of writing our thoughts and feelings down can create a flow state, making it easier for us to process what’s happening internally. Journaling also gives us greater insight into any repetitive behavior patterns that might be cropping up.
Try 15 minutes of journaling at the beginning or end of each day to coax out any overwhelm and get clarity on what the core issue really is. By identifying what’s causing the most stress in our lives, it’s far easier for us to address it.
4. Introverts have a strong connection to creativity.
Although we don’t love distracting environments, many introverts are highly creative people and we thrive on the mental stimulation that creativity provides. Once again, our independent nature can lend itself well to being imaginative and innovative, a perfect breeding ground for creativity.
However, by the time we reach midlife we can find ourselves stuck in a rut if we’ve been repeating the same creative cycles for years. Rather than feel inspired by our creative time, it can easily become something we do on auto-pilot, thus reducing the benefits.
Tip: Don’t be afraid to delve into an entirely new creative endeavor to really reap the rewards that creativity can bring. Trying something different can nudge us out of our comfort zone and help to boost confidence. A new creative pursuit can also act as a reminder that change doesn’t have to be something we fear but something we’re able to embrace instead.
5. Introverts can have deep rooted people-pleasing traits.
While it’s certainly not true that introverts aren’t able to communicate effectively, it can be true that we lean towards keeping the peace. Many introverts naturally gravitate towards avoiding conflict and that can mean we suppress our true wants and desires which can leave us feeling frustrated and resentful.
Midlife can be a time when we reflect on our journey so far and get curious about our identity. Who are we now? Who are we still becoming? It’s less a time of crisis and more a time of self-inquiry. In order to give ourselves the best chance of creating a fulfilling future, we need to show up (and speak up!) for ourselves instead of feeling obliged to center everyone else. Self-advocacy becomes ever more important as we age and there’s no better time than the present to practice good communication skills that honor our needs.
Stepping away from people-pleasing habits doesn’t mean that we’re causing trouble or creating friction. It simply means we’re recognizing our worth as humans and claiming our power accordingly.
Tip: Look for opportunities to vote with your voice. If you have a preference as to what movie you watch or what food you eat then don’t be afraid to communicate that. You’ll find that the more you speak up for yourself, the less daunting it will feel.
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